Birth mothers who have opted open adoptions may not be able to care for their child the way they feel is optimum, but still want to watch them grow and have some involvement in their lives, and this wish should be respected by adoptive parents as it is in the child’s best interests. Maintaining positive, consistent communication in a way that respects the rights of both adoptive parents and birth parents may be tricky sometimes, but not impossible. A birthmothers adoption program of communication can help.
Here are three ideas adoptive parents can use when communicating with the birthmothers of their children.
Face to Face
Meeting in person is ideal as it allows more personal communication; however, it can also pose some challenges. Finding a time that fits everyone’s schedules can be difficult. This may limit visitations and introduce frustration when schedules do not line up well.
You should try to project positivity and openness when speaking with the birth parents and note if their body language shows discomfort.
Phone Calls, Texts, and Emails
A birthmothers adoption program may include phone calls, texts, and emails as they allow for greater flexibility. Although these options increase access, it is important to still respect boundaries that may have been agreed upon. Excessively frequent or untimely messages can place stress on relationships.
Social media provides another avenue to communicate with birth parents. By following your account, they will be able to see the pictures and stories that you, as parents, are excited to share. This can help the birth parents to feel included and is a very convenient way to improve consistent, stress-free contact.
The home study is a part of the adoption process that may seem overwhelming for some. Many feel uncomfortable with a stranger coming into their home and assessing their potential to successfully raise a child. The home study is slightly different from what most people think, but it is completely normal to feel a little anxious. It’s a good idea to ask detailed questions to your adoption facilitator, but here is a general idea of the process, so you can know what to expect:
An adoption facilitator or social worker will ask you to collect various documents, such as birth certificates and marriage licenses. The purpose here is to ensure the potential adoptive parent or parents are who they claim to be. Health and financial records are also examined for validity.
Interviews With Members of the Household
Each member of the household in which the child would be living will be interviewed. The goal here isn’t to scare anyone but to learn about the dynamics within the household. This step may seem daunting, but an adoption facilitator will explain that it is simply due diligence to ensure that your household is a good fit for a potential child.
Home Visits With Social Workers
A social worker will visit a potential home at least once. They will not inspect every inch of a home; they are merely ensuring the space is suitable for a child.
Typically, the documents collected earlier in the process are used to verify the potential adoptive parents’ backgrounds. Adoption facilitators help explain that this to ensure there are no prior domestic violence charges or child abuse reports.
One of the last steps of the process is collecting character references. A social worker will go through the friends and family of potential adoptive parents to take character references and get a better idea of who they are.